TOW Another Inappropriate Song
by Vee22
Summary: Ross and Rachel aren't the only parents who discover that an inappropriate song can make their child laugh.


**TOW ANOTHER INAPPROPRIATE SONG.**

Ross and Rachel aren't the only ones to discover that an inappropriate song can make their child laugh.

**A/N: **_This is my first Friends fanfic and it's a oneshot, set after the series finale. I just randomly thought of the idea during work and now that I'm home, I thought I'd try to write it. Reviews and constructive criticism would really be appreciated. Thank you for reading._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything to do with Friends – if I did, the series would never have ended. This fanfic was inspired by TOW Ross's Inappropriate Song. I also don't own Thong Song, as sung by Sisqo._

"Come on, sweetie. Go to sleep," murmured an exhausted Chandler, as he gently rocked his baby daughter Erica in his arms. She looked up at him, her blue eyes wide and alert, as she gazed at her father. Unlike her twin brother, Jack, who was already napping peacefully in his bassinet, it was always difficult to make Erica go to sleep. And since Monica was currently working night shifts at an Italian restaurant, putting the twins to bed had become Chandler's responsibility.

It was almost 9:00 and Monica would be home soon. Chandler shuddered at the thought of Monica arriving home and discovering that Erica was still awake. It would go directly against the daily schedule she'd carefully composed for the twins, before they'd even been born. The schedule stated that both babies should be asleep by 6:15, at the latest. Unfortunately, Jack and Erica didn't always operate by Monica's schedule, even though Chandler was doing his best to follow it.

Chandler had been sitting in the nursery's rocking chair for almost three hours, patiently reading stories and humming lullabies, all in an effort to lull Erica to sleep. Nothing seemed to do the trick. Chandler had been so desperate that he'd even considered inviting Ross over and asking him to talk to Erica about dinosaurs. However, he'd quickly squashed that idea. If he got Ross started on dinosaurs, he'd never stop. "And let's face it, honey," Chandler murmured in Erica's ear. "I don't think Mommy would be very happy, if she came home from work and found Uncle Ross here, talking about dinosaurs. How about some music instead?"

He slowly rose from the rocking chair, grimacing at the cramp in his left leg, as he stood. "OK, sweetheart, my lullabies didn't put you to sleep, but maybe you'll like the CD better." He quietly made his way towards the CD player and made sure the volume was on low, not wanting to wake up his son.

As he flicked the switch, Chandler expected to hear the soft, soothing strains of 'Rock-a-bye, Baby'. He was shocked to hear quite a different song coming out of the speakers instead. "Thong Song?" Chandler exclaimed out loud, wondering how that song had found its way into the nursery stereo. Suddenly he remembered.

A few weeks ago, when Monica and Rachel had taken the kids shopping, Joey and Ross had come over for a visit. Lazing around on recliners, drinking beers and chowing down on snacks, they had almost felt as though they were all bachelors once more. "Man, this is the life," said Joey. "I miss those days...you know before you two got married." He frowned. "I mean, you two didn't get married...I mean, you did get married, but not to each other...hey, there's no cheese in my sandwich!"

Being the logical one, Ross had, of course, pointed out the obvious. "Joey, you're married, too." Joey took a big bite from his sandwich, pieces of salami and ham falling onto the coffee table.

"Clean that up, Joe. I don't feel like dealing with Nazi Monica tonight," Chandler warned. Chandler had never been fussy about cleanliness when he'd lived with Joey, but when he'd moved in with Monica, it was a whole different story.

"Yeah, but Alex is cool. She makes me food, we have sex every night, it's just like I'm still single," Joey said gleefully, as he scooped up his fallen pieces of salami and stuffed them into his mouth.

Ross and Chandler exchanged glances. "Oh, you're so lucky. Monica starves me and we never have sex," Chandler said sarcastically. The sarcasm was wasted on Joey.

"She does? Dude, that's not cool. All that cooking at the restaurant and she doesn't cook for you?" Joey shook his head in disbelief. Then he seemed to process the second part of Chandler's answer and his brown eyes widened. "She can't NOT have sex with you, can she?" he demanded. "It's like, against the laws of marriage. Can't you divorce her for that or something?"

Chandler rolled his eyes. "It's a joke, Joe," he said with a sigh. For the millionth time, he thought it was fortunate that Joey was an actor and not a brain surgeon.

"Oh. You shouldn't joke about things like that, man," Joey warned. "You never know when it might happen to you."

"It might happen to you too," Ross observed. "You'd better watch out, Joey. You're still in the honeymoon period at the moment...wait until you've been married for a long time."

"But I've been married for a long time," Joey protested. "I've been married for three months! That's a VERY long time." A worried look crept over his face. "Do you think that'll happen? Is Alex going to stop making me food? Are we not going to have sex once we've been married for six months?"

"Is that all you care about..." Chandler began and then trailed off, deciding that arguing with Joey was redundant. Apparently Joey had decided that the discussion was over too, because the worried look had left his face. He was now grinning, as he reached into the plastic bag he'd brought over to Chandler's house and rummaged around, clearly looking for something.

"Hey, dudes. Remember how we said today was going to be our boys' night out? I brought something for us."

Ross and Chandler glanced at each other once again and blurted simultaneously, "No, Joey, you didn't bring porn!"

"It's not porn!" Joey said, defensively. His eyes looked a bit shifty and as Chandler and Ross stared him down, he sighed. "OK, maybe I brought some porn," he confessed. "But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about this."

He triumphantly produced a CD which Chandler and Ross instantly recognised. "Thong Song, by Sisqo," Ross said, with a grin. "That's the song the stripper danced to at my bachelor party."

"And what a bachelor party it was," Joey said, with a smile. "Shall we play it, for old time's sake?"

"Why not?" agreed Chandler, not seeing any harm in it. They'd put the CD in the stereo and listened to the song, nostalgically reminiscing about memories from their young, carefree bachelor days. They hadn't only heard the song at Ross's bachelor party. They'd played it in the car on a road trip to Las Vegas. And they'd drunkenly sung it on their way home from a pub one night, which had led to Heckles banging angrily on their door, the next morning. It was amazing that they associated so many memories with just one song.

_"Let me see that thong...Baby..."_ Sisqo crooned. Caught up in his memories, Chandler was unaware that he'd been singing along with the stereo. Until he heard an unfamiliar sound and he suddenly froze, waiting to see if he'd hear it again. Silence. Clearly he wouldn't hear the sound again, until he made some more noise first. Gingerly, Chandler began to sing along with the chorus of the song and was delighted to hear the sound again. He stared down at his daughter, who had a wide smile on her face and had just giggled for the first time.

"Erica, you laughed!" Chandler exclaimed softly. "Do it again for Daddy, please do it again." She smiled at him broadly, but kept silent. "All right, all right, I know what you want." He began singing along with the chorus again, feeling somewhat silly, but eager to hear her giggle again. "That thong, tha thong, tha thong," he sang, making a funny face as he sang. He was rewarded with another giggle.

"Oh, Erica, you laughed," Chandler said fondly, feeling his heart melt. "I'm going to have to keep an eye on you when you're older, if that laugh has the same effect on every member of the male species," he remarked. "Mommy's going to be so excited that you laughed for the first time. I wish she could have been here to listen."

Suddenly he stiffened, realising that Monica would inevitably ask him how he had gotten Erica to laugh. After all, they'd both spent countless hours with the twins, patiently trying to amuse them and they'd never gotten anything beyond smiles. How was he going to explain the reason for Erica's laughter? "Mommy's going to kill Daddy," he said, with a sigh. But he might as well enjoy this precious moment with his daughter, while he could.

He pressed the repeat button on the remote control and the song began playing again. Chandler spun around with Erica in his arms, as he sang along with every explicit lyric. He was in the middle of the second verse when he noticed a dark shadow in the hallway. He gulped as he turned to face his wife, who was standing behind him, with her hands on her hips. "Chandler Bing," she said, sternly.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

_That's all for now! I'm thinking of making a oneshot sequel, to continue on with this story and Monica's reaction. What do you think? Please let me know if you'd be interested in reading that... and even if you aren't, I'd love to know what you thought of this._


End file.
